I learned a new phrase this week, thanks to the moms in that mom group mentioned in my previous post. It literally translates to "buttery butter", but means "tautology" in English. That's not quite the best translation, since the words are different registers, so maybe something like "talking out of your ass" is a better description. Either way, the Polish version is better.
Now, here's how I learned this wonderful phrase!
As mentioned in the post before this one, I signed up for an event comprising of local moms. I was excited to meet some new people who live nearby. The group itself is called "K Moms" - K being the city I'm located in. The event was called "Meeting of Moms in K". You'd think that most of the moms would be located in K, right? Sorry, nope! Most who are attending the event are located in W, which is 35 minutes northeast of K (for reference, I'm located 15 minutes from the event location in K). Okay, that's fine, I told myself. W isn't that far away and I'm sure there will be some interesting people. (Note: on the final list of attendees there are 15 attending, 3 (including myself) are in K, the rest are in W).
I wrote the woman, "Anna", organizing the event on 3/24 to say that it's too bad that there's no space (spaces were limited, probably because of size of the location or whatever), but hopefully I could go to the next meeting. She wrote me that yeah, there's no space, but between you and me she was planning to extend the list of attendees. On 3/31 she wrote that there's room for me to join. Being the go-getter than I am, I said okay.
This meeting was described as - I'm translating (errors and all!) from the event's FB page - "A meetup for moms, present and future. Those in the 20s and in their 40s:) Do you want to meet with different moms over coffee, tea? Gossip? And maybe exchange experiences ? And also have lots of fun? you're invited to the K mom's meeting:)". It was estimated that the cost would be 10 zł ($2.50) for the food and drinks. Sounds fun!
The weird part was that the meeting wasn't planned until 4/30, which was a weirdly long time away. Can't we just meet up like normal people? Whatever, I'll go with it.
Slowly, messages were coming in that she was going to have "sponsors" and we'd get free stuff from those "sponsors". Later, we'd have to review that free stuff on our blog or Facebook. Not really my thing, but whatever, I'll just see how that plays out. More and more notes about sponsors come in - cleaning supplies, teas, coffees, kid stuff.
Fast forward and now the price is 37 zł ($9.50). Still not expensive for me, so okay. I pay. The meeting still sounds interesting, although a little weird, but maybe that's a Polish thing.
Fast forward again to 4/22 where "sponsors" are still mentioned. I ask her on a post what exactly these sponsors are sponsoring at the event. Legit question, since the price increased by 27 zł from the original suggestion. Sponsors usually alleviate the cost of an event (attendance costs, paying for the venue, whatever) and in turn, they advertise their services or product. Right?
Not according to Anna. She writes me back in a private message that these sponsors are providing products that we're supposed to review by the end of May (and she thought she made that clear). Okay, I write, so they're not sponsors, they're just companies advertising themselves, since sponsors usually alleviate costs of an event. No dear, Anna says, sponsors sponsor.
Oh my G-d, I think, what?
Whatever, I don't respond. Maybe the other women attending this meeting have more to offer.
Now, this meeting is supposed to go from 12-3 pm, and she's talked about giving us a sewing lesson to show us that really everyone can sew. So, I'm expecting that. April 25, she posts a schedule in the event group. She also posts that one other woman, "Eliza", will be bringing catalogs from her work and if we order something from her at the meeting, we get free shipping. Okay, now this is going too far. Catalogs I can easily toss out, but a schedule?! Let's take a closer look at the schedule:
12:00 Get to know the moms
12:15 Cosmetics workshop from "Mary Kay"
13:00 Eliza's presentation on "Moje Bambino"
13:30 Lecture on "forest inspirations"
14:00 Needle and thread, or sewing workshop
15:00 Nice surprise:)
Wait wait wait wait wait.
If you remember, the description of the event was essentially that it'd be a nice time to chat with other women, drink coffee, and learn from each other's experiences. Where the flying fuck did she write about 15 minutes to get to know the other moms before popping over the 2.5 hours of sales pitches (okay, the sewing isn't a sales pitch, but she sews bags, so I was sure she'd try to convince us to buy her bags - also no idea what the forest inspirations lecture is, but I don't really give a shit. Fuck forests!!! (not really, I actually do like forests)).
I write her on the post. I'm translating below what was said, because what!? If you need proof, I have screenshots, because I was 100% certain she'd delete my posts and ban me from posting, but I guess not (not yet).
Me: Hey, you wrote in the group description that we're meeting over coffee to gossip and exchange experiences. You didn't write that we'd have 15 minutes to get to know one another followed by 3 hours of sales pitches. Don't get offended, but this is a marketing trick where they want to sell as much as possible. This has nothing to do with spending some nice time together and meeting new friends, as it was described originally. If someone wants to meet up over coffee to gossip, you're invited to my place, but for this marketing trick, I'm gonna have to decline.
Anna: There will be tons of time for coffee and chatting. But is it bad that we can learn something new? How to create new things, where to get new inspirations?
Me: Dear [I had to get her back for her condescending "no, dear" in the earlier private message], if you make a group where we can meet other moms and have a nice time together, chat, exchange experiences, etc., then you should follow through. We would meet up, spend time together, and learn from one another. The meeting that you're organizing is not about that at all. This is a marketing meeting where you've invited salespeople. If a group of women want to gossip, you prepare a schedule and invite several saleswomen? This is a flat-out scam where people want to sell their products and not a way to get inspiration.
Anna: Yes, to spice up the meeting so we don't feel self-conscious and we can learn something new. I wrote a schedule for the meeting so you can see what the plan is. There will be time for chatting, but jeez, I won't write that we can talk here and not here. After all, this is a meeting for moms, women-as women we like to talk and gossip, so there will be lots of conversation. The free stuff is only an addition. That's why I asked if anyone wants to review or advertise their product or no[t]. You agreed to most. No one is forcing anyone to do anything. The meeting is to meet others. There aren't meetings like this in K. I came in with the initiative and so I don't think it's a bad idea. I'm not advertising myself, I just want to do a sewing workshop and for me that's not advertising because I don't need it. We can just sew together and definitely laugh:) If you think this meeting is not for you, too bad. If you feel that way, then no one's forcing you to. Me for sure.
She lost her clarity there, but okay. At this point I could only shake my head. Inspiration from sales pitches? This also confirmed my thought that she'd sell her sewing to us (even though she doesn't need the advertising, as she says). I agreed to free stuff, but not to sales pitches.
Me (over it!): A saleswoman's goal isn't to teach us something new, but to push their product on us. There's a huge difference between showing off makeup tips and a saleswoman's pitch on the product. Also, as I previously mentioned, your initial description of the meeting completely doesn't match the final schedule where we listen to sales pitches for several hours. Sorry for my annoyed tone, but I don't like when someone tries to "bullshit" me. I could write more on the subject, but I think everyone understands what I mean. Thank you and I wish all you moms lots of fun with your 15 minute meeting and 2 hours and 45 minutes of sales pitches.
And she actually stopped writing after that!
One other girl did decide to comment further, which was the highlight of my night.
Paula: The plans awesome. If someone doesnt like it its her problem ;) no one will be. Forced to buy anything. At meetings for moms in G [G is 25 minutes east of K and 25 minutes south of W] and W there were also presentations about a food processor and avon products. From what I remember it was encouragement to use and familiarize yourself with the companies and not a marketing gimmick. Everything for the moms... It will be nice to get gifts, talk, drink coffee and the schedule is just for variety. That's my opinion:* I can noe wait ! See you later moms.
Paula: sorry for mistakes but I wrote fast:p
1. Hahahahahaha.
2. "Encouragement [another translation of this word is "incentive"] to use and familiarize yourself with the company, not a marketing gimmick" - ooooookay, lady.
3. Does she really not know you can edit posts...?
4. Women need a schedule when they meet, otherwise they're embarrassed or self-conscious.
5. Oh. My. G-d.
It just blows my mind that these people exist and [apparently?] believe what they wrote. Really?
Companies, these women are your dream audience. You can advertise to them non-stop and they have seriously no idea that you're pushing them to buy your product; they'll think it was their brilliant idea to buy it.
Yeah, good luck with that, ladies.
Now, here's how I learned this wonderful phrase!
As mentioned in the post before this one, I signed up for an event comprising of local moms. I was excited to meet some new people who live nearby. The group itself is called "K Moms" - K being the city I'm located in. The event was called "Meeting of Moms in K". You'd think that most of the moms would be located in K, right? Sorry, nope! Most who are attending the event are located in W, which is 35 minutes northeast of K (for reference, I'm located 15 minutes from the event location in K). Okay, that's fine, I told myself. W isn't that far away and I'm sure there will be some interesting people. (Note: on the final list of attendees there are 15 attending, 3 (including myself) are in K, the rest are in W).
I wrote the woman, "Anna", organizing the event on 3/24 to say that it's too bad that there's no space (spaces were limited, probably because of size of the location or whatever), but hopefully I could go to the next meeting. She wrote me that yeah, there's no space, but between you and me she was planning to extend the list of attendees. On 3/31 she wrote that there's room for me to join. Being the go-getter than I am, I said okay.
This meeting was described as - I'm translating (errors and all!) from the event's FB page - "A meetup for moms, present and future. Those in the 20s and in their 40s:) Do you want to meet with different moms over coffee, tea? Gossip? And maybe exchange experiences ? And also have lots of fun? you're invited to the K mom's meeting:)". It was estimated that the cost would be 10 zł ($2.50) for the food and drinks. Sounds fun!
The weird part was that the meeting wasn't planned until 4/30, which was a weirdly long time away. Can't we just meet up like normal people? Whatever, I'll go with it.
Slowly, messages were coming in that she was going to have "sponsors" and we'd get free stuff from those "sponsors". Later, we'd have to review that free stuff on our blog or Facebook. Not really my thing, but whatever, I'll just see how that plays out. More and more notes about sponsors come in - cleaning supplies, teas, coffees, kid stuff.
Fast forward and now the price is 37 zł ($9.50). Still not expensive for me, so okay. I pay. The meeting still sounds interesting, although a little weird, but maybe that's a Polish thing.
Fast forward again to 4/22 where "sponsors" are still mentioned. I ask her on a post what exactly these sponsors are sponsoring at the event. Legit question, since the price increased by 27 zł from the original suggestion. Sponsors usually alleviate the cost of an event (attendance costs, paying for the venue, whatever) and in turn, they advertise their services or product. Right?
Not according to Anna. She writes me back in a private message that these sponsors are providing products that we're supposed to review by the end of May (and she thought she made that clear). Okay, I write, so they're not sponsors, they're just companies advertising themselves, since sponsors usually alleviate costs of an event. No dear, Anna says, sponsors sponsor.
Oh my G-d, I think, what?
Whatever, I don't respond. Maybe the other women attending this meeting have more to offer.
Now, this meeting is supposed to go from 12-3 pm, and she's talked about giving us a sewing lesson to show us that really everyone can sew. So, I'm expecting that. April 25, she posts a schedule in the event group. She also posts that one other woman, "Eliza", will be bringing catalogs from her work and if we order something from her at the meeting, we get free shipping. Okay, now this is going too far. Catalogs I can easily toss out, but a schedule?! Let's take a closer look at the schedule:
12:00 Get to know the moms
12:15 Cosmetics workshop from "Mary Kay"
13:00 Eliza's presentation on "Moje Bambino"
13:30 Lecture on "forest inspirations"
14:00 Needle and thread, or sewing workshop
15:00 Nice surprise:)
Wait wait wait wait wait.
If you remember, the description of the event was essentially that it'd be a nice time to chat with other women, drink coffee, and learn from each other's experiences. Where the flying fuck did she write about 15 minutes to get to know the other moms before popping over the 2.5 hours of sales pitches (okay, the sewing isn't a sales pitch, but she sews bags, so I was sure she'd try to convince us to buy her bags - also no idea what the forest inspirations lecture is, but I don't really give a shit. Fuck forests!!! (not really, I actually do like forests)).
I write her on the post. I'm translating below what was said, because what!? If you need proof, I have screenshots, because I was 100% certain she'd delete my posts and ban me from posting, but I guess not (not yet).
Me: Hey, you wrote in the group description that we're meeting over coffee to gossip and exchange experiences. You didn't write that we'd have 15 minutes to get to know one another followed by 3 hours of sales pitches. Don't get offended, but this is a marketing trick where they want to sell as much as possible. This has nothing to do with spending some nice time together and meeting new friends, as it was described originally. If someone wants to meet up over coffee to gossip, you're invited to my place, but for this marketing trick, I'm gonna have to decline.
Anna: There will be tons of time for coffee and chatting. But is it bad that we can learn something new? How to create new things, where to get new inspirations?
Me: Dear [I had to get her back for her condescending "no, dear" in the earlier private message], if you make a group where we can meet other moms and have a nice time together, chat, exchange experiences, etc., then you should follow through. We would meet up, spend time together, and learn from one another. The meeting that you're organizing is not about that at all. This is a marketing meeting where you've invited salespeople. If a group of women want to gossip, you prepare a schedule and invite several saleswomen? This is a flat-out scam where people want to sell their products and not a way to get inspiration.
Anna: Yes, to spice up the meeting so we don't feel self-conscious and we can learn something new. I wrote a schedule for the meeting so you can see what the plan is. There will be time for chatting, but jeez, I won't write that we can talk here and not here. After all, this is a meeting for moms, women-as women we like to talk and gossip, so there will be lots of conversation. The free stuff is only an addition. That's why I asked if anyone wants to review or advertise their product or no[t]. You agreed to most. No one is forcing anyone to do anything. The meeting is to meet others. There aren't meetings like this in K. I came in with the initiative and so I don't think it's a bad idea. I'm not advertising myself, I just want to do a sewing workshop and for me that's not advertising because I don't need it. We can just sew together and definitely laugh:) If you think this meeting is not for you, too bad. If you feel that way, then no one's forcing you to. Me for sure.
She lost her clarity there, but okay. At this point I could only shake my head. Inspiration from sales pitches? This also confirmed my thought that she'd sell her sewing to us (even though she doesn't need the advertising, as she says). I agreed to free stuff, but not to sales pitches.
Me (over it!): A saleswoman's goal isn't to teach us something new, but to push their product on us. There's a huge difference between showing off makeup tips and a saleswoman's pitch on the product. Also, as I previously mentioned, your initial description of the meeting completely doesn't match the final schedule where we listen to sales pitches for several hours. Sorry for my annoyed tone, but I don't like when someone tries to "bullshit" me. I could write more on the subject, but I think everyone understands what I mean. Thank you and I wish all you moms lots of fun with your 15 minute meeting and 2 hours and 45 minutes of sales pitches.
And she actually stopped writing after that!
One other girl did decide to comment further, which was the highlight of my night.
Paula: The plans awesome. If someone doesnt like it its her problem ;) no one will be. Forced to buy anything. At meetings for moms in G [G is 25 minutes east of K and 25 minutes south of W] and W there were also presentations about a food processor and avon products. From what I remember it was encouragement to use and familiarize yourself with the companies and not a marketing gimmick. Everything for the moms... It will be nice to get gifts, talk, drink coffee and the schedule is just for variety. That's my opinion:* I can noe wait ! See you later moms.
Paula: sorry for mistakes but I wrote fast:p
1. Hahahahahaha.
2. "Encouragement [another translation of this word is "incentive"] to use and familiarize yourself with the company, not a marketing gimmick" - ooooookay, lady.
3. Does she really not know you can edit posts...?
4. Women need a schedule when they meet, otherwise they're embarrassed or self-conscious.
5. Oh. My. G-d.
It just blows my mind that these people exist and [apparently?] believe what they wrote. Really?
Companies, these women are your dream audience. You can advertise to them non-stop and they have seriously no idea that you're pushing them to buy your product; they'll think it was their brilliant idea to buy it.
Yeah, good luck with that, ladies.
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