My mom and I have this tradition: when we're together, we binge-watch episodes of The Bachelor or The Bachelorette. The most memorable season we watched together was, of course, Juan Pablo's. This time around, we watched Nick's season.
When we finished this season, we decided to also read this book, which had also been talked about a lot on Bachelor in Paradise. This book, It's Not Okay was written by Andi Dorfman, who was one of the contestants on Juan Pablo's season, and was also later a Bachelorette.
In all honesty, I have a hard time remembering which Bachelor/Bachelorette contestants are who, as they all seem about the same to me (think: Saturday Night Live's parody). I had the hardest time remembering the difference between Andi and Caitlin, for example, but both struck me as being normal enough ladies, who were smart and successful (Andi's a lawyer) and interesting (Caitlin was hilarious).
In all honesty, I have a hard time remembering which Bachelor/Bachelorette contestants are who, as they all seem about the same to me (think: Saturday Night Live's parody). I had the hardest time remembering the difference between Andi and Caitlin, for example, but both struck me as being normal enough ladies, who were smart and successful (Andi's a lawyer) and interesting (Caitlin was hilarious).
I was so wrong about Andi. After reading this, I have much less respect for her.
Andi come off as totally shallow and rude in this book, to put it frankly. The conversation that made that very clear to me happened when she went to the bar to audition for The Bachelor. The girl taking Andi's name spells her name wrong. Then when she asks where Andi is from, Andi says "here" and the girl looks confused, so Andi clarifies that "here" is the city of Atlanta and adds, "again, puzzled look. Am I the idiot here?" Maybe not, but you're definitely rude.
I thought Andi was probably smarter than some, as she's an attorney. But, as she says herself, there sre some real idiots in the field. Combined with her comments that she took really easy classes in college and didn't really try that hard at all (Andi took a class that was "E-A-S-Y", as she writes - so easy that the final project was a "how to" and one student's project was on how to chill a beer in less than two minutes). Right.
That was a disappointing revelation, as I was under the impression that she was a contestant who was more my style than the others. Nope. Not only did she come off as extremely judgmental and rude in her book, she also came off as a bit of a lunatic. I can't relate to someone who goes through a breakup and burns the other person's stuff.... and her own stuff as well. Not only that, but she stayed at her friend's house for months instead of finding a new place. That friend must be a total angel.
One thing Andi went on and on about in the book was the conversation in the fantasy suite with Nick where he asked if she'd rather make love or fuck. It came up OVER AND OVER again. Not only did it come up in the book several times, but in Nick's season of The Bachelor, she had an appearance on the show and brought it up AGAIN, although they had supposedly resolved everything before the book was published. I'm not sure if that was the Bachelor producers milking that story line or what, but it makes Andi seem obsessive.
I did like the book's setup - it was written as a diary, but it also included advice, which was weird: you don't give your diary advice. At least I don't think you do. This book seems to have been marketed as a self-help book for ladies going through a hard breakup. If this is your reason for reading this book: don't. Andi didn't handle her own breakup well, so I'm not entirely sure she'd be the best one to go to for advice on how to successfully make it through a breakup. At one point, she ran out of clothes, used Febreeze, but then used Fabreeze too much and instead of washing the clothes, she went to buy more. LAUNDRY, do your laundry!
I was hoping for more behind-the-scenes information. Andi definitely knew that's the reason people would buy and read her book. There's some insight into what happens when making the show, but not much. Mostly the book contains descriptions of Andi's terrible breakup. With an emphasis on how it's not her fault - it's only his. Although she knew in the back of her mind for months that he was emotionally abusive and something wasn't right.
She spent the entire book bashing "Number 26" and describing how he emotionally abused her. And yet her solution to get over him was to have sex with him ("what says "fuck you" to a man louder than literally fucking him?"). She explains that it's her way of getting over him and boasts about how she's the one that's in control after having sex with him one last time. But I'm not sure she realizes that he probably just wanted a booty call as well and he most likely doesn't care that she won't call again.
I was hoping for more behind-the-scenes information. Andi definitely knew that's the reason people would buy and read her book. There's some insight into what happens when making the show, but not much. Mostly the book contains descriptions of Andi's terrible breakup. With an emphasis on how it's not her fault - it's only his. Although she knew in the back of her mind for months that he was emotionally abusive and something wasn't right.
She spent the entire book bashing "Number 26" and describing how he emotionally abused her. And yet her solution to get over him was to have sex with him ("what says "fuck you" to a man louder than literally fucking him?"). She explains that it's her way of getting over him and boasts about how she's the one that's in control after having sex with him one last time. But I'm not sure she realizes that he probably just wanted a booty call as well and he most likely doesn't care that she won't call again.
I found myself spacing out a lot while reading, because it was almost way too easy of a read. The parts where I was able to focus just annoyed me, as you can see from my comments above. This book was frustrating, in that it didn't give me what I had expected (behind-the-scenes info) and it also was the ramblings of a person who I ended up really not liking. The good thing about this was that I could read a passage and turn to my mom to be like, "are you kidding me!?!"
Overall as a book, it's an easy read with some interesting Bachelor/Bachelorette gossip. If you're a fan, then it might be worth a read if you want something light. If you're not a fan, avoid this at all costs. If you read it with someone else as a guilty pleasure, go for it.
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